I MOVED TO MOSCOW AND MOSCOW RAN OUT OF ALCOHOL

Last night I got attacked by a vicious beast and had to go to the emergency room to get stitches on my face.

The nurse said that until the cut heals, I will need to treat it with zelyonka by night and medicinal alcohol by day.

I cabbed to the 24-hour pharmacy to stock up on the necessary supplies, only to discover that while the pharmacy had plenty of zelyonka, they were all out of alcohol.

Not the exactly the words anyone ever expects to hear in Russia.

I called the ER and got connected to the nurse who initially admitted me. I asked if there’s a proper substitute. Hydrogen peroxide, or chlorhexidine maybe?

“Just use vodka.”

Of course.

I didn’t ask her to specify whether she meant internal or external application.

VICIOUS

VICIOUS BEAST

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31 thoughts on “I MOVED TO MOSCOW AND MOSCOW RAN OUT OF ALCOHOL

    • Thank you! I actually miss my old custom banner (it’s still on my Home & Away FB page tho), but I felt like the old layout didnt encourage exploring and the homepage was really dominated by a single post. Homepage change is really what changed it for me. Plus the pictures are so much bigger now!
      (The little bitch is getting no treats or affection for an indefinite period).

  1. I went into this post totally expecting you to have been mauled by a street dog. Glad you’re not totally disfigured. (Also, definitely internal and external applications to speed up the process!)

    • Apparently I am keeping my enemies closer. Also, I kind of borrowed his temp nickname (The Beast) from your hedgehog, if you don’t – his real name is Kuzya, like the famous cartoon house-elf. If you hadn’t see it, ask the Russian.

  2. Well, well, well – a fellow Pomeranian minder. I guess I should have known. I love the new layout.

    I hope you are feeling better. I just took a shower in vodka out of solidarity.

  3. Pingback: DOWN WITH PATRIARCHY part 1: WHEN IN ROME | Home & Away

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